In continuing with my posts on feminine and masculine energy, this blog focuses on masculine energy and what it looks like. If you haven’t read the previous posts, I suggest you start here.

Men and women possess both masculine and feminine energy. One is not ‘better’ than the other, and no matter what your gender, a healthy balance of both is necessary to be a well-adjusted human being. Men should not stifle their feminine energy nor should women stifle their masculine energy; each has its place and purpose. This article focuses on masculine energy, how it is expressed, and how it exhibits in the dating and relationship dynamic.

Masculine energy is focused, goal-oriented, energized, motivated, and driven. It’s recognized in a strong sense of purpose, a high sex drive, confidence, doing what ‘needs to be done’, being proactive, a leader, powerful, inspirational, grounded, centered, controlling, planning, action-oriented, giving, chasing, organizing, taking charge, ambitious, initiating, fixing and pursuing.  Masculine energy is the energy of the working environment and the more high pressure, goal oriented the work, the more male energy is required. This is part of the reason why women are in their masculine energy more now than in previous eras. Although masculine energy is also helpful for managing a household and child rearing, once women entered the workforce, the need to focus, accomplish, meet deadlines, and climb the corporate ladder required that they tap into their masculine energy to a greater degree than before.

Traditionally in western society, men were the primary breadwinners and women managed the household. This structure allowed men to flourish in their masculine by being the provider of the family. The woman relied on the man to support her and their children and to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Major decisions were typically made by the man (this does not imply that the woman was not consulted or her opinion valued, although many times, it wasn’t). The woman trusted in the man’s decision making skills and went along with what he decided was the necessary course of action. Many women found great satisfaction in this but others did not, and as women began to take jobs outside the home and co-habitation became more egalitarian, the shift in responsibilities (and energy) between men and women drastically affected the balance of masculine and feminine energy. Important to consider is how this phenomenon affected men. Suddenly they were competing with women, for jobs, promotions, recognition. Where the feminine/masculine roles were once clearly defined, it soon became less obvious who was the breadwinner and decision maker. From my perspective, this played a large part in the feminization of men and the erosion of their traditional role. Is this bad? Is this good? There is no right answer, but it has most certainly changed the dynamic of the male/female relationship and the family unit. I imagine this monumental shift has left many men a bit lost and confused. They may be asking, what are they ‘good for’ now? How are they ‘needed”?

For strong sexual attraction, polarity between masculine and feminine energy is crucial. A man with strong feminine energy and a women with strong masculine energy can have a great relationship, but when you are moving through life primarily from your innate energy source (which, in most cases, is feminine energy for women and masculine energy for men), you radiate. You are in your ‘zone’ and will be a magnet to the opposite sex. Not only that, you will more in tune with yourself and your natural essence.

What does masculine energy look like in dating and relationships? If you are a man and want to be in your masculine essence when seeking a partner, then you need to be the initiator, the planner, the provider. This means that you approach a woman and confidently ask her out. If she agrees, you proactively plan the date – where to go, what to do. Does that mean you can’t ask for her input or ignore her preferences? Of course not! Masculine energy is not about being a dictator, but if she says “I don’t know” or doesn’t provide specifics, you take control and make it happen. You should also pay for the expenses of the date and optimally, insist on doing so. It would simply not occur to a man in his masculine to not pay for the date! The man is happy to provide. Not only happy, but he gets a deep sense of satisfaction in providing for those he cares about. Many women don’t understand this or feel as though being provided for makes them subordinate. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Society needs to understand that equality between the sexes: receiving equal opportunities, equal pay, and equal respect for our knowledge and abilities, has nothing to do with biology, energetic attraction, and balance in a sexual and romantic relationship. We are talking about two different things. Equality is about logic and logic is masculine energy. Love and attraction are illogical; attraction is not about logic. Love and sex are biological and you will get nowhere by trying to apply logic to them.

So gents, if you strive to express your masculine energy and long for a feminine partner, you must lead with your masculine energy. Be decisive, plan, initiate contact, be protective, provide, pamper, and support. You will recognize a woman in her masculine energy. She will be the woman who initiates most of the contact, she will suggest and plan dates, she will ask to split the check or be offended when you insist on paying, she will want to define/label the relationship early, and will ‘over-give’ and over-do’ for you. All of this might be coming from a loving place in her, but it could leave you feeling emasculated and ineffective and can kill the sexual chemistry.

Conversely, a woman in her feminine energy will be relaxed and in the moment, she will listen and empathize. She may seem flighty or emotional, but that is only her feminine energy doing what it does best – connecting and sharing. A feminine energy woman will let you drive – both literally and figuratively. She will sit back and receive all the wonderful gifts that your masculine energy wants to provide. She is not submissive, she is not without opinion, but she is also not interested in competing with you or proving herself right. She goes with the flow and is comfortable with you taking the lead.

If you want to attract a feminine woman or help a woman shift into her feminine, stay in your masculine. Show her through your actions that she can depend on you, that you have things under control, that your word is golden, that you are trustworthy and capable, and that you are there to provide, support, and encourage her in all her feminine glory.

Now tell me, what woman could resist that? 😉