Is He Serious About Us?

Okay, so you’ve been dating for a while- well, at least a week or two, and it seems like your new squeeze is into you, but how can you know for sure? Easy, pay attention- not to what he/she is saying, but to what he/she is asking. That’s right. If someone is really into you, they want to know all about you and they want you to know that they want to know. So they ask questions and they show interest, and they really are interested in what you think and what’s going on in your life. The best way to know if he (or she!) is serious, is to pay attention.

It’s true that they may not ask you deeply personal questions at the start (they don’t want to offend you or be too intrusive), but they will definitely ask you about your day, and what you do at work, and why you and your sister got into a fight on the telephone this morning. This is all part of the normal process of getting to know someone and determining just how compatible the two of you are.

A big red flag is when you notice that he/she is doing all the talking about their day- and never asking about yours. Or maybe every time you start to tell a story about yourself and your life, they quickly turn the conversation around so they are the topic again. If this is happening to you, don’t ignore the signs and tell yourself that “she just likes to talk” or “my stories are boring him”. Yes, there are people who are chatty and have a habit of dominating the conversation, but even chatty people understand that it’s not all about them. And if that chatty person is digging you, then they’ll make it a point to shut up and listen too.

And don’t be surprised if the relationship fizzles out pretty early, or if you end up getting dumped and wondering what happened because you thought “everything was going great!” Believe me; if your date isn’t showing much interest in your life, then everything is not going great. You’re either dealing with a serious egomaniac or just a selfish, immature person whose reason for being with you is not because they are planning anything long term.

Of course, you can’t force someone to be interested in you, nor should you try. It’s simply a good sign that you need to move on and find someone who is interested in a relationship with YOU.