Jewish online dating has completely integrated itself into normalcy, and is no longer viewed upon with suspicion or relegated to “losers”. These days, if you’re Jewish and you’re single – odds are your photo and profile are posted on at least one of the many available Jewish sites. Question is, is it working? More and more Jewish singles are finding that it isn’t. So what are the perils of online dating?

A growing problem with Jewish online dating is that members are using it just for that – dating. It’s a revolving door of singles with few of the members actually interested in getting married. Why should they be? With the numbers of potential partners to choose from, you can go out dating with someone different every night of the week. If you’re actually hoping to find your perfect match and marry, you’re going to have a tough time weeding through the playboys (and playgirls) to find sincerity.

Speaking of sincerity, have you noticed how much deceit is running through those profiles? It’s the perfect venue to re-invent yourself – with the emphasis on “invent”. Pick an age – any age, you don’t have to be honest about it – and many aren’t. And what about those photos? Have you met anyone for the first time that actually looks like the photo they posted? If so, consider yourself lucky. And if they look better than their photo – consider yourself blessed. It doesn’t happen often. Many times, the photo was taken a number of years before. I’ve seen high school graduation photos posted for men in their 50’s. How does it happen that they’ve got a digital photo from high school but can’t seem to find anything recent?

For those who are truly serious about finding someone with whom they want to spend the rest of their life, online dating just isn’t fitting the bill. Many of my clients come to me completely burnt out on the internet scene and ready to set serious and get busy with finding their soul mate. It’s a serious business- one of the most important decisions of your life- and it should be approached seriously. My service isn’t a dating service, it’s a marriage service. I propose one match at a time and until you decide “yay” or “nay” on that match, I don’t send another. It is important to keep an open mind and be willing to at least speak to a potential match on the phone before you completely disregard him/her based on a short profile and photo- but the process does continue through the course of your contract and the intent is to find your lifelong partner.

Fun and games? You can definitely find that online. A partner with whom to share the ups and downs of life and love and to stand by your side through thick and thin? Ahhhh, that requires more than a revolving monthly fee and a cute moniker, it requires focus and sincerity- and in the case of Jewish matchmaking – an insightful shadchanite whose joy comes from matching two souls who might have found each other without her help.