The Online Dating Dictionary

A Jewish Matchmaker spells out the newest dating terminology…

Ever had a guy (or gal) from a dating site suddenly pull a disappearing act after you’d been communicating for awhile? Or maybe you actually met in person and began dating when suddenly, without warning – no more phone calls and no more dates? Well, there’s a word for that – it’s called “ghosting” – and it happens a LOT. Actually, in this virtual reality environment of online meet-and-greet, a whole new online dating dictionary of terms has arisen to keep up with a bevy of new dating behaviors. From ghosting to catfishing to benching, verbs that you thought you knew are being applied to dating with a new twist. To help you navigate through these murky waters, I’ve detailed the most popular terms below. If you are the recipient of such behaviors, just chalk it up to experience and move on; if you are a perpetrator, try being more straightforward and honest… Karma is a beeyatch….

GHOSTING:  This is the term you most likely have already heard. Ghosting is when you are in contact with someone either by email or phone, and then suddenly, the communication ends with no warning or explanation. In some cases, you’ve actually gone out on a date (or many dates) before they disappear. Why do people “ghost”? Usually they are trying to avoid the questions and confrontation of actually saying to someone “Hey, I’m just not into you”. Or maybe they had a certain objective in mind from the beginning (SEX) and after the initial contact with you, they either got what they wanted and left, or they decided they weren’t going to get what they wanted and left. Either way, it’s nothing that you did wrong, so don’t start second-guessing yourself. Just let them go…

BENCHING: Ever had someone schedule a date with you and then cancel at the last minute (or stand you up), only to get back in contact with you with an apology and excuse, then pull the whole routine all over again? Or had someone who emails every once in a while but won’t commit to meeting in person? Well, just like in the sports world, you’re benched. Benching is like   keeping a “substitute” player on-hand to throw into the game when your star player is out of commission – same with dating, you are being kept around in case nothing better comes along, and being strung along just enough to make you think there is genuine interest. Well, there isn’t. When someone is genuinely interested in you, they jump hurdles to see you; they don’t pull a no-show…

TUNING: Tuning is the electronic version of flirting. The difference is that it’s often with someone who is a friend of yours (either in real life or online) and he/she is interested is changing the status of your relationship. It’s done so innocently, however, that the person can always deny their motives if you actually confront them. Maybe they are liking a lot of your Facebook posts, or texting you cute pics or phrases to make you smile. It’s a way of testing how receptive you are while still being able to maintain they are just being “friendly”. If you are interested, great – it may lead to a date…if not, no harm really done, no chance really taken…

LAYBY: A layby is very similar to tuning except the person is already in a relationship, but is thinking of getting out. He or she is putting out “feelers” in the form of friendly flirting so that if they decide to get out of their current relationship, they’ll have you to fall back on. These are people who aren’t happy in their current relationship but are too afraid to make a break without having a backup plan. They may or may not actually make that break, so don’t get too wrapped up with their veiled flirtations. Besides, who wants to be with someone this weak-willed and snarky? You can do much better…

CATFISHING: This is a particularly nasty behavior defined by someone presenting themselves as something they’re not, such as a physically and emotionally available single person who is interested in a relationship. A catfish scam includes a fake social media presence with fake pictures, a fake profile, and fake friends. Everything about the catfisher is fake including their interest in you. The best way to avoid being catfished is to set up a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible and to be extremely wary of those who delay a face-to-face. Never divulge your romantic history or provide personal or detailed information about yourself to ANYONE that you haven’t met in-person. It’s very easy to pretend to be something you’re not – online. If he/she seems too good to be true – they probably are. Don’t fall for it…

SLAYING: This one might be better termed “laying” because that is all the slayer wants to do – get laid. These are sexual predators who are only seeking another notch on their proverbial belt. They are not texting you because of the witty banter, and they are not wooing you because they are falling in love – this is an all-out booty call. The end goal is sex, not love – with no strings attached. Might be a match made in heaven, if you are also a slayer…

By | 2016-12-15T11:48:44+00:00 October 26th, 2016|News|0 Comments

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