A Jewish Matchmaker’s Guide to Profile Photos…
The internet has taken dating to a whole new level and with the increased popularity of online dating in recent years, the competition is fierce. The term “there are plenty of fish in the sea” has never been more accurate than when applied to the ocean of internet dating, and it’s very easy to get passed over for someone who simply has a better presentation.
It may be hard to accept- particularly when ideas of love and romance are involved, but presentation really IS everything. And unless your photo and profile is a standout- the guy or gal you are hoping to meet might just pass you by. Many people mistakenly attribute this to a shallow personality or lack of depth, but to be honest ALL of us want to meet someone interesting and engaged with the world- someone who shows originality and has pride in their appearance. And the first opportunity to make a good impression is your profile and photo.
If your profile isn’t getting the feedback that you feel it should, maybe you need a revamp, and if you have difficulty being objective, don’t hesitate to seek out that “way too honest” friend for some constructive criticism, meanwhile, continue reading as a seasoned matchmaker (that’s me!) shares some basic tips for instant profile improvement.
How many times do you see “love to travel” on a profile? It’s gotten to the point that it’s almost expected, but what does this actually tell you about the person? Not much! Even if they list all the places they’ve been it tells very little about their unique perspective on life. But what if you read, “Traveling to foreign countries is my favorite indulgence. On my first trip to Budapest, I was really surprised at all the graffiti I saw along the rail line. Now when I travel, I take pictures of really cool graffiti that I see- especially statements and phrases written in the language of the country I’m visiting. It’s like communicating with the heart of the people.”
Doesn’t that sound like an interesting person to get to know? It’s not difficult to make your profile sound interesting, it’s all about revealing something meaningful about yourself and avoiding cliché’s like “I love to travel”, “I’m a sports fan”, or “I really enjoy a good wine”. Yes, we all do.
Another tip for your profile is to update it regularly – don’t just post it and expect it to be a magnet for Mr. or Ms. Right. Updating your profile shows you’re an active person who continually learning and growing from life experiences, and that is an attractive quality.
It goes without saying that you should be honest in your profile, right? Yes, you should be honest in your profile.
Photos are a very important piece of a profile and great profile photos are CRUCIAL. Yes, we all want to be loved and appreciated for what’s inside, but to see what is inside, you’ve got to get a date, and getting the date is going to be about 99% based on what is OUTSIDE. This doesn’t mean you have to be a ravishing beauty or have the physique of a Greek god; it does mean you need to look like you’re a fun person to be around and that you take care of yourself.
Selfies in front of the computer are a serious no-no in my book- maybe because all the ones I’ve seen turn out looking like “scary” guy (or girl) who doesn’t even have one friend to take a normal picture of him. The best pictures are those taken in a natural setting showing you doing something you love to do or with people you love to be with. Your face should be clear and easy-to see and not obstructed by hair, sunglasses, or a hat. Optimally, you want to include a few photos including a full-body shot. If you only use photos showing your shoulders up, EVERYONE is going to assume that you don’t look so good from the shoulders down. This may or may not be true, but don’t hide. Those who don’t like your look wouldn’t have responded anyway because they assumed you had something to hide, and you’ll have given an honest opportunity to all the rest.
Now, what to do if you’ve followed all my awesome tips and your “way too honest” friend still thinks your profile is lacking? I say go all the way- take it to a professional. It’s easy to find an online service that will write an attention-grabbing profile based around your interests and characteristics and plenty of professional photo services. I often encourage my clients toward professional photos if we feel the photos available aren’t generating enough positive response.
When it comes to finding the partner of your dreams, going that extra mile is a small price to pay to put yourself ahead of the ever-expanding sea of competition.