How can you spot Relationship Sabotage?
Relationship counseling is becoming more popular as couples are realizing that sometimes they need outside help! All too often, it is easy for us to point out the mistakes of others and not notice our own flaws. It’s painful to look at oneself and see where we fall short; it’s much easier to direct blame elsewhere. However, if you are noticing a pattern in your relationship issues, it might be time to take a good, hard look at your own culpability and work to make yourself a better partner by having relationship counseling. It is commonplace now for couples to try relationship counseling because a third person can look at both sides from an objective prospective and offer sensible advice.
Growing up, the majority of us probably did not have the best role models for a successful relationship. Many of us came from divorced parents, and even if our parents stayed together, there may not have been much love shown between them. Or maybe one of them was away most of the time, leaving a void in our development. Whatever the circumstance, it may have led to our inability to work through issues, or forgive angry outbursts, or simply deal with everyday issues that couples are faced with and work through them in a healthy manner.
Relationship counseling is ideal for couples who care but cannot reach a compromise.
Look back over your relationship history. Are you unforgiving of flaws? Do you demand perfection? Do you place more importance on spending time with friends, and have difficulty merging your life with your partner’s? Do you have intimacy issues, whether physical or emotional? Maybe you take the opposite track; are you a pleaser, and bury your identity?
These are serious questions, and could take much soul-searching to reach an honest answer. Many of these types of issues stem from childhood emotional traumas from which our subconscious mind attempted to protect us. Unfortunately, those protective mechanisms are now preventing us from experiencing a healthy love relationship.
If you suspect that you are causing your own relationship problems, open yourself up to speaking with a counselor and try to learn new methods of reacting to old triggers. If you are in a relationship, and you see yourself sabotaging it, try to open up to your partner and bring your insecurities to the table. The goal is to accept you were hurt, find new ways of dealing with the pain, and move forward to form healthier relationships.