When I was sixteen, I made a checklist of what I wanted in an ideal man. A checklist for love!
There were about 80 items: 30 physical and 50 emotional,/intellectual/spiritual. It was extremely complete, especially for a teenager. About 10 years later I edited the inventory and added point values. It may sound ridiculous, but it kept me grounded.
Many items were either deleted or edited over time, including increasing or decreasing their point value as the item gained or lost main concern in my mind.
You may not need a 80 item list but it is worth your time to write down the most important qualities that you you want in your partner and rank them according to level of importance.
When you meet someone and begin dating, don’t continue dating if he or she doesn’t meet your most important criteria. When falling in love we tend to become sightless to the faults of our partner… or we see red flags and choose to ignore them. Wearing love-induced rose colored glasses can help us be more tolerant of the little quirks that our partner has, but when we ignore our own needs to remain in a relationship, those rose colored glasses need to be removed.
There isn’t much of a chance that you will be happy in a relationship where your needs aren’t being met. If you have a comprehensive list against which to compare a potential partner, it helps keep you on the right path.
But remember, PHYSICAL traits should not rank high on your list.